Getting Older

This last weekend started out with an early morning ride on Green Mountain. When my alarm went off I was already waking up ready to jump out of bed. I load up my Ranchero and headed out.

When I arrived at the parking lot there were only a few other cars in the lot. I preformed my pre-ride check and rode out. My ride was great. I hammered the trail with more energy than I normally muster for my afternoon rides. On a ridge looking down on to C-470, I enjoyed my breakfast bagel, a peach, and gel pack.  I tried to memorize a memory verse but kept getting distracted by the view. I finished strong and headed home.  That would normally be a great weekend for me, but this weekend I worked on the shed in the backyard. I also got a last minute invitation to play paintball. I spent at least four hours on Sunday running and gunning on the local paintball field.

Normally I would have no trouble on Monday getting up for work after a great weekend like this. But this Monday, I was really sore.  My right knee was swollen and tender.  I spent most of the day sitting in my office trying to stay off it.  My mom has very bad knees. I have an aunt on my father's side who has suffered from early onset arthritis. With that history in mind, I was not to happy to be suffering from joint pain. My wife was great letting me rest with my knee up and iced all Monday night. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling much better.  I still have a little stiffness in my knee.

I told my wife that I was getting old. She told me that I wasn't getting old I was just getting older. It's not a great feeling to have your body start to wear down. I thought I was in pretty good shape but I could always do better. My knees are a testament to that.

Well my wife is calling me to her side, so that's about all I have to say about that. Please comment and subscribe. Let me know what was the first sign your body gave you that you were getting older.

Glancing Back but Moving on

Most of us took a moment to think about where we were ten years ago today. I was at a men's breakfast bible study. I remember very little about the rest of the day other than trying to get ahold of my friend who was due to get of the Army that day. I remember talking to him on the phone about whether or not he'd be coming home or staying another couple years. That day will be forever with me but even now time has faded it just a little.

I was talking to my wife this morning about remembering. I told her that I would remember today but I didn't want to dwell on the tragedy. I wanted to get out with my kids and enjoy what is still my life in my country. I am not at all saying that we shouldn't morn. I have morned in my own way many times during this last week leading up to today. I just don't want to let anyone change who I am by making me fear or fail to move on.

The thought was repeated in my brain several times that we shouldn't leave the house for fear of something happening somewhere. But I didn't want to give into that thought. I wanted to stand up and say, "I am here still and I will live my life as an American without fear or shame."

My wife is calling me to her side so that's about all I have to say about that.  It's good to be back. I took a longer break from the blog than I intended.  Please comment and subscribe as always.

RE:

Here's one more model picture.
E.L. Wilson

I came across this bike at a local warehouse store. I noticed several things wrong with the bike configuration. Can you see them, too?
E.L. Wilson

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Conquering the Mountain

One of the reasons that I love mountain biking is constantly pushing myself toward new challenges.  I get to challenge a trail over and over again in order to conquer it.  I have been trying since early April to get to the top of Green Mountain.  Green Mountain is a treeless hill west of Lakewood that is an easy ride for my office.  This May I finally got to the top.

It's a challenge even to get to the mountain because of the climb over the I-70.  The flyover bridge I take is steady climb leading then to a gentle slope down.  I discovered that I didn't need to ride to the main western parking to catch a trail on to the mountain.  There is a concrete path that goes under C-470.  It leads straight to Box O' Rox trail.  The name Box O' Rox is a very accurate name for the trail.  It is a smooth trail at the base but becomes rocky near the top.

Climbing a mountain on a bike is not always fun.  I didn't start out riding Green Mountain for the fun of the climb.  I didn't think the climb was the best part of the ride.  I thought it was the down hill.  I watched videos all winter of the downhill mountain bike races.  I got hooked on the idea that downhill was mountain biking.  But the ride can changed my thinking as I got further up the mountain.  Someday, I would make it halfway up the hill.  Other days I would barely make a quarter of the climb.  It was frustrating at the worst times and at best times would make me feel alive. 

I was able to find a place where the ache of my muscles and the shortness of breath met my sense of victory.  I have heard it called a "Zen" moment.  I was in communion with all the universe just my own body.  To feel that way is enough for me to find peace.  God made my body to move and to be in tune with that feeling makes me feel in tune with God. 

Since I rode to the top I have moved on to other trails (which you will hear about soon).  I cannot always find my peace with every ride.  I know that like everything in life I will be disappointed at times. I also know that there will be those times when I get closer God.  I look forward to those times to come.

A view from the top of Green Mountain

Cottonwood Pass Mountain Biking

Over Memorial day weekend my wife and I went up to Eagle County to celebrate our anniversary.  After going for a walk, I grabbed my bike for a short ride.  Near where we were staying is Cottonwood Pass Road.  I have ridden this road several times before but not with my own bike.  It is a short ride by road to get up to the hills.  After passing two cattle guards there is a road that heads up hill near where we were staying.  Apparently, it's a seven mile loop to from the road and back.  I thought this seemed good enough. 

Understand that when I say road I mean a 4x4 road.  I had seen dirt bikes going up this trail earlier in the day.  It was not a well maintained road.  From the spot where I took the above picture, the road is washed out and rutted all the way up.  It's wide enough to allow for a truck to pass but the going is rough.  I rode the first few miles without much trouble.  The altitude was definitely a factor.  I stopped several times to catch my breath.  I found that each time I stopped the best thing for me was to control my breathing.  I would hold my breath several seconds between breaths.  This would slow down my breathing and help my heart to slow down as well.  Once I got going again I would try to breath about every second or third revolution of my pedals.  That pace kept me moving without losing my breath.

As I said the road was rough.  I had to stay on the peaks between the ruts in the road most of the time.  When the ruts disappeared then I found myself on loose sandstone.  Unlike other rocks I have ridden over sandstone acts differently.  It doesn't form rounded shaped on the roadway most of the time.  That meant when I rode over it I was afraid of a popped tire.  The edges looked plenty sharp.  Sandstone would also break suddenly making the going slow at times.  I rode for almost an hour before I got near the top of the ridge.  My timing was prefect because I didn't meet any motor traffic or dirt bikers going up or down.  My fear with them is that they would be going to fast to avoid me. 

I don't know if I was still on the same loop that the sign had marked when I turned around.  I passed several junctions with roads going different directions.  I just decided I had ridden far enough.  I turned around and coasted down most of the way.  I have noticed that a trail is never the same up as down.  Areas difficult to climb over were now drops and loose areas now had to be negotiated at high speed with my wheels twisting out from underneath me.  I burned up some brake pads going down but I made it.  I enjoyed my trip.  I am looking forward to coming back in August when I can take more time and explore the area more carefully.

Happy Trails, see you next time!!

Ride of the Week - Father/son ride on Coyote Song Trail 04/17/11

One of greatest things I get to do as a father is share my hobbies with my kids.  I take each of my on a Daddy Date each week.  This time it was my youngest son’s turn.  He wanted to go to the skate park, but I convinced him to go on a bike ride.  I didn’t want to discourage his interest in skateboarding but I don’t really like just watching my kids have fun.  I want to be with them having fun as well.  

 My youngest son is a good rider.  I had taken him on a long ride earlier in March.  I thought a good introduction would be a local trail called Coyote Song.  It is a easy trail so I expected he wouldn’t have much trouble with it.  

When we arrived we gave the bikes a final check then it was off to the trail.  We hit a long climb right at the beginning.  It was not a really steep climb but my son’s bike is basically a single speed.  That’s great when he’s riding to school but on the climb he had to really work.  He tried to climb the trail but we ended up walking up to the top.  We then coasted down the other side.  And that was pattern that we repeated over each hill along the trail.

The climbs weren’t terrible at any time.  My son really liked the down hill coasting though.  We stopped off at some of the placards along the trail that explained the geological history of the area.  I took some pictures of the surrounding rock formations.  

We got about three quarters of the way to the end of the trail when we decided to turn back.  The way back was not as steep as it was coming.  My son began to pick up some speed right away.  We reached the final down hill toward my car.  My son was flying down  the hill.  I was yelling at him to slow down.  He tried his coaster brake, but as soon as he braked a little his rear tire fish tailed out from underneath him and he fell.  I got to him quickly and lucky he wasn’t that scrapped up.  We rode back to the car.  We then finished the day with some ice cream cones from Mcdonalds which made up for my son’s scrapped knee.

Happy Trail!!

Promises, Promises

I know that I had promised to get on to a series recently, but things changed.  I am really busy this summer with my summer work time schedule.  I am going to post about my mountain bike ride throughout the summer.  The summer is not a time I want to be stuck in front of my computer all night typing.  I suggest that we all take summer vacation from our technology for a little while.  A day or a week, it really doesn't matter we need sometime off to enjoy our life.  See more of you this fall.  Sincerely, The King.

Derby Hat Racing

So here we are again the end of the weekend and still I cannot come up with a great topic for my blog series.  I know that I promised the next few posts would be a series but it isn't coming together in my head.  I will get to it, promise.

In the meantime, school officially end for my kids on Friday.  They were so ready to be done with school.  I am not sure I am ready, though.  When your a parent you come to rely on school as a daily diversion for your kids.  We build our lives around school for nine months of the year.  Then three of those months school districts throw a monkey wrench at you or in my case four monkey wrenches.  In the end, kids look forward to it parents mostly dread the summer vacation. 

Try and imagine how my oldest son feels about this change.  Remember, my oldest boy is highly functioning autistic.  He has had a great year at school.  He listened to his teachers, learned a lot of new skills, and gets a lot of support from the school staff.  For the vast majority of children, the idea of not having to listen to teachers or do homework is great.  My son doesn't share this feeling with his peers.  I don't think I could explain to anyone who has not had some kind of experience with an autistic child.  Don't misunderstand me.  I know many other people have there own problems during the summer.  The best way to describe it to anyone is to say that my son's been furloughed from his job without warning.  Imagine how you would feel if your boss told you tomorrow that your going to have to leave for three months without pay.  Your not being fired.  You get to come back to your job.  But for the next three months your on your own.  Three months is barely enough time to get used to not having a job let alone find something else to do. 

People might ask me.  Doesn't your son know schools ending.  Yes, he's known about the end of school coming up.  My oldest boy doesn't fully comprehend it till it happens.  The very last day of school he was a train wreck.  Yelling and screaming were just the start of his bad day. 

I see all this and experienced with it before.  I still struggle having to remind myself that my son has a legitimate reason for freaking out.  It takes a lot to keep my cool and give my son the slack he needs to make as smooth a transition as possible.  Lucky, the school district does give us support.  They started enrolling my son in summer school not as a punishment for poor performance but to help keep him from losing all the skills he's gained. 

I am looking forward to the next three months hoping like always that this will be a great summer.  It's all about perspective.  My son once asked me, "What's a Derby?"  I told him it was a race.  He then replied, "Isn't it also a hat?"  I instantly pictured jockeys riding their horses in the funny little black hats.  Yes, I told my son it's a hat as well.  Perspective, it's all about how you see it.  I just need to see it as a great summer.

My wife is calling me to her side so that's about all I have to say about that.  Please comment and subscribe.  If you think you have an idea for my blog series please also leave a comment about it.  Thanks.

Coming Soon

I am going to try something new with the next couple posts.  I want to do a series of post on one topic.  I will be working on this for the next few weeks.  If I am lucky I will get it down this week, but if your reading this I am still working on this series.  You'll hear from my soon.  Please subscribe and comment.

Ride of the Week - Green Moutain 04/04/11

This was it.  The first official ride of the season.  I mark the beginning of the season here in Colorado when Daylight Savings hits.  Only then do I have enough daylight to get in an afternoon ride.  Today, I had taken the day off work because of the long night schedule that I had to work over spring break.  I spent most of the day relaxing at the house.  The kids were back in school so it was just me and my wife.  She went to meet a friend in the morning, but during lunch we rested in front of a movie.

Around 2:00 PM, I got ever thing packed up in the "Ranch Hero" and drove out to Green Mountain.  I thought this would be a great place to start my season.  I'd lost a lot of my muscle over this winter which became painfully clear to me during the prior week when I attended Patrol bicycle training.  I was sucking wind all day and had to be pushed up the hill during our lunch ride (one of the older guys literally rode up behind me and grabbed my belt to give me a boost up the hill).

Green Mountain is a trail that I know well but have never finished the whole loop.  It's a great trail for working on endurance.  It's got great climbs but little to no technical spots (that I have found).  I knew that I needed to work out my body so this was the way to start.

I rode up the trail to a junction that I usually take to the south around the mountain, but this time I took it north.  I thought that I was going to make it that far, and if I found a way to loop back to parking lot in a short amount of time that would be great.  I was already sucking wind.  I was also a little cold.  When I left my house the sun was warming everything up.  Green Mountain was sunny but the wind was coming out of the northwest pretty hard making it feel a lot colder.  I made it up to a small rock out crop where I took this picture of me.  I also found the remains of something tucked in between three rocks.  Coyotes got something rather large.  It wasn't a cat maybe a medium sized dog or another similar sized animal.

I kept going till I looped back toward the parking lot.  I was glad I took the shorter loop.  I didn't think I had much more energy in me.  I decide though at the last minute to ride up the fire road to see how far it went.  I thought I would not have any problems but I was wrong.  I was still not in good shape so after climbing around a few turns I decided I was cold and tired enough to call it a day.  I coasted down to the car.  I was not really breaking a sweat and my arms looked sun burnt due to the cold wind.  I loaded up and headed for home.  I was rather pleased that I'd been able to ride that much with out walking the bike.  I hope to hit Green Mountain again this week but I also want to try out the Golden Bike Park.  I will given you a report on either trip later.

Happy Trails!!

Winding Roads

This is my one hundredth post.  It’s a small accomplishment but I want to savor it since it is a pretty great personal mile stone.  I had a one point thought myself a writer, but then lost track of that dream for a time.  I got back to writing again in this blog as a way to “air out some things that are brewing in my brain.”  Since the time that I wrote my first post life has been a series of winding roads.  I have seen my dreams realized and sometimes discarded.  God provided in amazing ways.  What surprised me over and over again was the way that God gave me the desires of my heart.  Things that I never even prayed for, but every time I got what I desired I wasn’t really satisfied by those things.  

The desires of my heart were never really for the really important things in my life such as my wife and kids.  I love them so much.  They drive me crazy sometimes.  Seasons of my life with them have been tough (like right now).  I have had to eat crow many times, and I will never get used to having to admit that I was wrong.  God knows all these things about me.

If there is one thing that I wish could be said about me from the first post of this blog till now it is, “He followed God’s plan for his life.”  I am often trying to run my life on my own terms.  Men tend to do that. We don’t even have to think about it.  I get so caught up in the day to day running of my life that I often miss the callings of God.  The little voice during times of trouble or times of ease telling me to let God take command.  I can think of a thousand times when I nearly drove myself into a panic trying to run my life.  I tried to solve my own problems and get out of my own troubles.  


Right now, God is got me in season of life to teach me to let him run my life.  I don’t know if I have a choice this time.  God seems very serious about closing off my life from me.  With car wrecks, mental health issues, and other challenges, God is going to get through to me.  I need to learn what HE’s teaching me.  

My wife is calling me to her side so that’s about all I have to say about that.  I hope to have another one hundred posts to celebrate sooner rather than later.  Please comment and then subscribe.

Something Big to Come

This weekend was fun but completely draining.  I was not able to get the energy up to work out a post.  My wife and I are still recovering.  But there seems to be more to this slump than just simply having a long weekend.  I have been feeling not so myself as of late.  I am trying figure out why.  I really don't want to leave this short post, but I need to figure out somethings. Something Big is yet to Come.

King of Crazy

I feel like I’m not the King on Caley sometimes.  I feel like the King of Crazy.  Life in my house moves in seasons similar to the ebb and flow of the tide.  This is not my own concept I got this from our pastor this Sunday.  (Thank you, Hugh.)  I never thought of my life this way before, but I totally understand the concept.  Here’s the season we are in right now.

I am tired and my mind doesn’t seem to work at normal speed.  My kids have become hyperactive during this season, or maybe that’s how I perceive them.  I can’t seem to get the kids to do anything I ask of them.  It’s hard to describe how uncontrollable life feels during this season.  I don’t get much done during this season.  I cannot come up with the energy to read, write, or cook.  We eat our meals in front of the television instead of the dining room table.  My wife seems really disconnected at times.  I get angry with her because I feel like she’s dumping the kids on me when I get home.  It’s not fair I know to expect her to be on twenty-four, seven. She is just as tired if not more than I am.  Life just isn’t fair.  I used to think that I needed to bring my life back into order/balance during this season of life.  

I don’t think that way anymore.  I realize now that trying to bring order to life all the time is not possible.  Imagine if you will a beach.  I don’t want the tide to come in and ruin my picnic so I begin build walls of sand to try and keep out the tide.  The tide begins washing away these sand walls.  Instead of seeing how fruitless the effect is, I begin blaming my family for the tide.  The more the tide washes away the walls hold my family responsible for the problem.  Then when the picnic is ruined it’s not my fault it’s my families.  

I know this is how I work internally.  I cannot stop myself sometimes even though I know I’m adding to the craziness.  My wife asked me the other day if I need to speak to someone about my outbursts.  I don’t know.  I know that in time the tide will flow the other way.  Life will be fun and exciting.  But what happens when the tide comes back in?  How will I deal with the return of this season of crazy?  My wife loves to say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”  The tide is come in now do I find a way to float the picnic or do I let it sink?


My wife is calling me to her side so that’s about all I have to say for now.  Please leave me a comment and subscribe.  How do you handle the crazy seasons in your life?

Speeding Ticket- Playing the Game of Life

Tonight was family game night at my castle on Caley.  We played the Game of Life.  A classic game that I always remember because I was more interested in the plastic landscape than the game.  As we played the game, I found the random distribution of careers and salaries very ironic.  My oldest son was the lowest paid at $20,000.00.  His career pick was Police Officer.  My youngest son got to be a teacher with a $90,000.00 salary.  I am not sure what school district he worked for but I am assured it was not any public school here in Colorado. 

I don't know why we get dealt the hand we get.  God knows why.  He seems to think that what he deals us will make us stronger or grow us in some way.  I really hope that he's right.  I am thinking about two particular cards that God dealt me, my son's.  I find the mixture of there personalities and physical attributes strange at times.  Take my youngest boy.  He has had a high pain tolerance since birth.  He burnt his hand when he was very young on a night light.  We didn't know he'd done it until the church infant worker pointed out he had a blister on his hand.  The kid had burnt his hand not felt the pain then crawled around on the blister without one tear.  My youngest boy is short, stocky and great at just about any sport he tries.  All these physical attributes add up to a real boys boy.  That's what I thought.  My biggest difficulty with my youngest son is he emotional sensitivity.  He breaks down crying and weeping at the smallest insult.  His sisters seem to get a kick out of reducing him to tears everyday it seems

I have to stop myself from hardening him though.  I could do it.  Too many fathers have been in my place before.  They saw softness in their son's and couldn't reconcile that with the physical prowess they also saw.  So, they hardened the boy through brutalities or insults or the withholding tenderness.  I am not blaming anyone.  I hate weakness in myself.  I'll admit that.  But I get to make that decision.  I get to suffer my choice.  If I impose that viewpoint on my young son will I not be crushing him like flower beneath my boot? 

My second card is oldest son. If you don't follow my blog he is autistic.  That is one of the greatest blows I have ever taken.  I will freely admit that I spent years denying the facts of his autism.  I was not the best dad at those times.  I could even say that I was an emotional abuser.  I couldn't understand why more punishment was not straightening out my son.  Let me try and explain how I felt.

I was talking to a father at my son's school one day a year ago.  We had daughters in the same kindergarten.  We were talking about this and that when the topic of the special ed class came up.  My oldest son had just been admitted into that class that year.  I didn't share that fact with the gentleman I was talking too.  It didn't seem important.  We were talking about volunteering in classrooms.  My companion was telling me how he'd been asked to help out in the special ed room.  He stated he didn't like it much and asked the school not to be assigned it again.  He told me, "I don't know why those kids get such special treatment.  I could have those kids all straightened out in a few minutes if they'd just let me alone with them for a few minutes."

I know that some of you are horrified by that statement, but it's the reality that so many of us have to overcome.  I had to overcome it.  My son is autistic and nothing will change that.  I accept that he will take more time, more energy, and more love than anyone else can give him.  I have all those things.  That's what God thinks.  Some days God is right, and some days I think that God was wrong.  But in the end it's not about the middle of the game that counts it's the end.  Family game night showed me why.

My oldest, the under paid cop, ended up winning the game with the most money.  Not because he made money at his career, but because he collected the most "Life tiles."  A tile is a way of marking personal achievements.  Another way of saying it is he won because the way he lived "Life" not because he worked the hardest.  I want to win the game of life by the way I live it not because I worked the hardest.

My wife is calling me to her side so that's about all I have to say for now.  Please subscribe and comment if you have something to tell me.

Spring Broke

When I see the budding of flowers amongst the dead leaves from last fall I know spring is here.  These between seasons are my favorite seasons.  I love the death of fall and the rebirth of spring.  My best memories come from these seasons.

This is the best I can do at this point with coming up with a blog for this week.  Spring break has broken me.  I am really tired from working nights the last few days.  My kids had spring break before the school district where I work had their spring break.  So the kids got to stay home with my wife and drive her crazy.

I feel like this last two weeks has put a haze on me.  I cannot really think clearly about anything.  I am hoping this will pass.  I am getting frustrated with my blog because I feel like I cannot write anything.  I really want to make each post read well but sometimes I just don't have it in me.  I am hoping this week I can find more motivation.  My wife is calling me to her side so that's all I have to say for now.  Please comment and subscribe.

Bold New Discovery

I am often amazed at how often my past reaches into my present.  When I was a child growing into a teenager.  I remember becoming obsessed with bow hunting one summer.  My dad didn't hunt at all.  Not even one time to the best of my knowledge.  I didn't know anyone who actually bow hunted.  I think that I saw a magazine in the grocery store one day and was hooked.  The obsession lasted about a year before I turned to other things.  I have not really thought about it since then.

So when my oldest son told me that for his "Daddy Date" he wanted to go to an archery range, I was not sure I was entirely comfortable with the idea.  I remember how to shoot a bow.   I learned to shoot at summer camp like so many others.  But the idea of standing into front of experienced archers with my ten year old son looking like a "weekend wannabe" didn't appeal to me.  I didn't have much choice though.  My oldest son doesn't express interest in much more than Legos and computer games. 

Based on the war stories of some other dads with autistic boys, I knew that letting him lose himself in the computer game world would not end nicely.  Imagine the worst junky you ever saw on television then multiple it by how ever old the kid is, not something I wanted to go through. 

My oldest son in the short one in the middle.

So around noon on Saturday, my son and I drove over to the only archery range/store in the neighborhood.  As we walked in I was thankful to see that there were only two other guys shooting at the range.  I could live with that much scrutiny.  I walked up the many counter.  An older woman with the bandaged finger told me immediately that my son would have to take a safety class (which began in an hour) before being allowed on the range. 

I was somewhat relieved to find out that my son would require a safety class.  I wasn't sure if he would like archery at all (he only just learned about it at his own summer camp) so if he made it through the class then he really wanted to be there.  I signed him up for the class.  We had a quick bag meal sitting in the parking lot while we waited.  At the appointed time, we walked back in and same woman with the bandaged finger took my son to fit him with an arm guard and finger tab.  She seemed to take to my son.  He was the youngest in the class.  I always worry that my son's autism will get in the way, but the woman with the bandaged finger patiently listened to him explain his summer camp experience and everything he knew about archery.

The final test- Pop two balloons.

Once the class got going, I started to worry that my son would not be able to pass.  They started out very close to the targets.  My son's arrows would bounce back at him ever so often.  Meaning he was not drawing back correctly.  But when the class moved back on the range everything worked out.  My son hit the target about eighty to ninety percent of the time.  After everything was over my son qualified for ten yards on the range.  He was ecstatic and has been showing off his graduation card to anyone who will listen to him. 

I hope that my son has found an activity that he can really excel at.  My hearts desire is to find particular thing for each one of my children.  That's about all I have to say about that, I hope each one of you have found your favorite activity.  Leave a comment about how your found that one thing that gets you through the day.

Preseason Riding- Original posted in Feburary

The first ride of season this was not but my youngest son has been bugging me all weekend to go on a bike ride.  Here in Colorado it has been a deceptively mild week.  The temp got up into the high fifties.  I had two problems though every time I thought of getting the bike down.  One, I would run out of day light.  Two, I usually had to wait till the afternoon to go out because of various domestic jobs, and by the time I was free to leave the weather would be turning against me or threatening a change.  I am a fair weather rider.  I am not ashamed to admit it.  Later in life, I can become a hardcore biking freak you'll see in a snow storm biking to work.  Now, I am not going out if the weather even looks wet.  Today, I didn't have any excuse so even though it was nearly four in the afternoon my son wanted to ride.

My son choose the destination for this trip.  He wanted to go to the "Bumps."  In a previous blog(link), I referred to them as the "dirt jumps."  My son calls them the Bumps.  I didn't think that we would actually make it to the Bumps since it is a bit of a ride.  I didn't know the condition of the trail, but I was certain we would be facing some muddy sections.  As we started out on the Lee Gulch Trail it was dry most of the way.  We passed kids walking home and adults walking their dogs.  I immediately began experiencing a horrible squealing sound coming from the my rear tire.  I had the issue earlier after I took my bike into the shop to have it's annual tune up.  They adjusted the brakes so the back brake was rubbing the disc.  I tried to fix it but without good enough weather to really take the bike out I hadn't been able to test it.  I let it go since I knew there wasn't much danger of that much damage being done on this short ride.


My son was walking his bike pretty soon after we got to the first hill.  I took the chance to practice turning around and going back to him.  I wanted to see how it felt since I also had the bike shop install SRAM X-5 grip shifters on my bike while they were tuning it up.  They messed up the cables so I had to take it back once to get it fixed.  Now I wanted to see if the new shifters would make turning feel any different.  There was a couple of times I need to adjust my grip but other than that I loved the grip shifters.

Even though my son was walking his bike every time, I'd ask him if he wanted to head back to the house. He kept telling me he was good.  He'd jump on his bike and take off.  We rode a little further he slowed down then next thing I know he's sitting down at a bench by the side of the trail.  I go back to check on him, but again he's ready to go when I get to him.  My son jumped on his bike and off he'd go.  We traveled this way the whole time.  Near the end of our journey we encountered a closure sign on the trail.  I'm not sure why but my theory is that one of the bridges over the tiny creek we were following was not passable.  Could be that there was a large muddy section the parks department didn't want everyone going through.  We followed the detour signs through neighborhood as best we could but there seemed to be signs that had been turned around.  I had basic idea of where we were going but it would have been nice to have better placed signs to guide us.

By the time we navigated the side streets to the Bumps, it was sun down as you can see in the pictures.  Another rider was already riding the Bumps.  He was filming himself with a video camera on a little tripod.  My son and I watched him take a few runs.  My son took a few runs of his own.  I rode just behind him at least once.  The track was mostly dry but for some of the shaded corners.  I found my tires slipping and sliding through the mud.  I was exhausted quickly that was for sure.  After we finished our runs we headed back toward home.  We took a main street which saved a lot of time on the return journey.  I was glad that we got home quickly.  The sun was down when we left the Bumps and by the time we rode home it was getting dark.  A good preseason run for me.  I hope we get some more warm weather here in Colorado.  I am tempted to try Green Mountain one these weekends if the weather holds.  

See you on the trails this season.

In a Bit of a Daze

After wrecking my vehicle(click on the title to learn more), I have been in a bit of a daze.  I got really sick the same week that I had my wreck.  It was not pretty.  I used up the little sick time that I had saved up since my wife's surgery.  I imagine that I was a victim of my own stress that week.  I don't normally get a fever.  It's scary right now not having a second car.  Technically, I have my grandfathers 1979 Ford Ranchero to drive to and from work. 

It is a very low mileage vehicle even lower than my own vehicle.  I have driven this classic beauty for the last three summers in a row.  It's great to haul around my mountain bike, but it only is a two seater.  I am not sure what I am going to do about buying a second vehicle.  I got just a little bit of money for the wreck, and I got a little bit more back from taxes.  Combine this will be the start of either a down payment or buy a car with that money.  It's really up to God at this point.  That's a really scary idea.  I have been in this place before.  God came through for me that time.  I don't know why it's so scary this time around.  I guess that is why God tests our faith once and awhile.  I know that I don't learn the lesson the first time every time.

That's about all I have to say about that, if you have any thoughts please share them with me in a comment.

A sad day for cars

I have sad news to report. Today, I hit a patch of black ice on my route to work. I spun out and hit the concrete divider and ended up in the ditch on the side of the road. I am alright but my neck is sore. My poor car doesn't seem to have fared as well. So, it looks like I will be driving the Ranchero till I get myself a new ride.
E.L. Wilson

Emotional Fuel Tank

I am sorry to report that this week has drained my emotional fuel tank.  I have been working really hard, and I really don't have anything left today.  I don't think this next week is going to be any easier.  If you haven't looked at my Ride of The Week section click on the blog title to check it out. 

Thank you for viewing my blog.  Please comment and subscribe, I hope to have something more substantial next week.

Weekly Action Report

I have been trying to com up with a topic for this week, but I couldn't really think of anything that was heart felt.  I am going to use this blog to give everybody an update to some of the things that have been happen to me. 

For the new year, I had committed to spending one evening a week with each one of my children.  It has been a rough start because I had no real plan in mind.  I just wanted to spend time with each one them to get to know them each.  This week I took my oldest daughter to the ice cream shop.  I brought a small notebook with me.  I spent the time eating ice cream asking her some basic questions about her.  I wanted to write them down so that I could hold on to it and compare it with later lists.  I found out interesting aspects about my daughter.  I didn't know that she liked roller skating.  We have been roller skating maybe twice.  She got a pair of really good skates handed down to her from a friend.  Today when we went for a walk she skated around the block with us (as documented in the picture above).  The notes are a really simple idea but they paid off already with the discovery of my oldest daughter love of roller skating.

Our cat decided to go on the walk with us.

 
On another note, My wife has been battling a cold this week so this weekend we spent most of our time relaxing.  My youngest seems to be getting the cold now.  My wife and I were able to get away for a few hours on Saturday night.  I got an invitation to a celebration for participants in a charity event this past Christmas.  The best part was it was basically a free date.  We got one beverage and all the free food we could eat.  I had some great Buffalo Wings and Mozzarella Sticks (real health food).  We then drove up to a city park over looking the south metro area.  I really enjoyed the simplicity of the date.  I wish I'd had  more energy to enjoy my wife more fully. 

Seriously, the cat followed around the block.

On a final note, I am starting to read some more manhood books and parenting books.  I have a goal of putting together a mentoring lesson for my sons for our camping trip this summer.  My hope is that if I can get something put together this year and work with it I will be able to start a multi-family father-son camping trip next year.  I have fond childhood memories of my father-son camping trips.  I wanted to build those memories for my own sons.  I know that there are other men out there who also want to share similar experiences with their sons. 

Looking at the hundreds of parenting and manhood books that are available in my local library, I feel the need to read them all.  I know that I don't have that much time.  If any of you out there who reading this have any suggestion please leave a comment.  I would love to get some input into what other men had read and liked.  That's probably the most important part of the idea.  I love to hear what not to read, but I really want to know what books others have loved or been touched by.  Please let me know either way.  Till next time, I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Broken Trees

I have always been a believer in God speaking through all kinds of events especially when your in need of it.  The problem is being open to God’s voice when he’s speaking to you.  This morning I wasn’t looking for God to speak his words of encouragement to me.  In my last post, I spoke to you about the rage that I have been dealing with.  Part of the has to do with being a parent to a child with a disability.  My oldest son is autistic specifically diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.  He can be a handful even at the best of times.  When you throw in three other children life becomes overwhelming very quickly.  I am not sure why God gave me this particular mix of kids.  Until this morning, I would have told you that it was my burden to bare.  

What I heard this morning was that I was given my kids so that I can see the greatness of God.  I get to experience it first hand.  And sometimes I am going to say, “I’m out. I’m done.”  Even in those times Gods still teaching me something through me kids especially my oldest son.  He has a love for the smallest and least of the world.  Why is it that those we call “broken” can give to those poorer themselves without a thought?  We who are “whole” have to be dragged kicking and screaming to spare a few cents for someone.  I cannot say that I know the answer.  What I know is that I’m not being “punished” or “burdened” by my son.  God gave him to me as his greatest blessing.  This is my talent.  I could bury it in the sand hoping to just get by without losing him.  Or I could invest in him.  I can see just how far he and I can go before the end.  I once thought that I was destined to be pastor.  I always thought that pastoring is how I would serve God’s kingdom.  I never thought that my service would be to my family.  I am finding that God gave me more than anyone could ever ask for in my family.  Mine is a flock bigger than any mega-church or temple.  I am truly ashamed to think of the ways that I have wasted my gift at times.  

I wasn’t sure how God was going to get me back on track after the rage of these past weeks.  I have fallen down before and crawled back before.  God knew what I needed this morning was to hear that he gave me great blessings and raising them will not be easy.  But in the end I will hopefully get to see them in their transformed bodies whole and glorious.  I know that’s what I heard.  I know that I am not alone either as evidenced by the hug my wife and I received from my relatives.  God was in on that hug, too.    

That’s all I have to say for this week.  Are you living with “broken” blessing?  How’s it going?  Are you ready to give up?  Leave me a comment with your thoughts.

Rage Issues

The last few weekends have been a nightmare.  I have not been this close to losing it with my kids for a few years.  I don't know what the root cause of the strife is, but I suspect that it has more of a spiritual attack than any physical factor.  (There's a topic for next week.) The kids have not been listening to me or my wife.  We have been trying to clean my daughter's room for three weeks, now.  I was not proud of the rage that I felt.  I showed my kids a side of myself that I don't like.

Rage is hard to deal with properly.  Especially when you cannot seem to calm yourself down.  I have been surprised at myself and my rage.  I always thought that men with anger problems at home were alcoholics or at least non-believers.  I never thought that I could possibly have problems dealing with my own anger.  That's where it started.  I was not realistic with myself.  I look back now and can recall angry moments as young man.  I never dealt with this anger.  I either repressed it or shunted it out of my life.  I never dealt with anger.  Anger isn't something that can be ignored for very long.

It is incorrect (I feel) to think of anger as only evil.  There is righteous anger that we can see demonstrated in Jesus' clearing of the temple courtyard.  Anger at injustice has spurred on many brave men and women throughout history.  So, anger has it's place inside us men and women.  But how do we deal with the uncontrollable rage that wells up inside when the kids are pushing our buttons.  Part of it starts with dealing with anger before you get angry.  Don't think anger will never come.  Anger is a part of you from early in your life.  I recently had to deal with several repressed issues in my life, and I found that they were at the root of a lot of my anger.  So, dealing with your inner turmoil is part of it.  I also like the strategies that "Love and Logic" taught me.  They teach not to take statements from your kids personally and kept your tone of voice calm and even.  The end result is like being a rock in a stormy sea.  The kids rage and yell at you trying to get a rise out of you.  But you stay calm through voice control and certain phrases.  Don't let them impart their anger onto you. 

What happens when I get angry anyways?  That's the hard part.  I don't know that I am yet an expert on calming down when I get worked up.  Somethings that have helped me over these weekends are stepping back and expressing my feelings.  Stepping back is important when you need to get your blood pressure back under control.  I have had some really good calming sessions while driving to my local coffee shop this last weekend.  When I get calm I then tried that other strategy.  I expressed my feelings to my kids and my wife.  I asked for forgiveness when I had done wrong, but I also let the kids know when they had hurt my emotions.  I found that they responded to my openness.  They expressed their hurts as well.  I felt more understood by them.  I don't know that they were able to work better but they tried harder.  I am trying to deal with my anger without letting it get out of control.  That's the best I can ask for right now.

That's about all I have to say for now.  What's some strategies that you us to deal with your anger?  Is the anger in your life caused by issues from your past?  Or do you need to express your emotions to your loved ones and ask for forgiveness?  Leave a comment about it.