I am coming to the end of my time here at the Jail. I will be transferring to the Court Security unit in two weeks and one of which is my vacation. It is funny how transferring has changed the way I do my job. I have been more confrontational and strict on the inmates now than I ever have before. It is as if the very thought of change gives me reason to do my job to the fullest. I have also noticed that part of me that cared about what they thought of me is beginning to die. I am glad of that death. The hardest part of any job is getting those around you to like you. When you work a job that makes it so hard to win people over it is a fatal flaw. I was often nicer to the inmates sometimes than my own kids. I cannot make it any more clear than to say that I wanted the approval of criminals. That may sound crazy but it is true. It is by the grace of God that I was able to work through that and get to where I am today. I still need to work on it. I hope that it will come more easily with Court Security.
I am scared out of my mind. I haven't really had to do the job of being a law enforcement officer before. Jail work is a lot of telling inmates no and then giving them little mini sentences for rule infractions. It has very little to do with patrolling or policing. But I have done my best to vary my experiences to help me gain a little experience with police skills. I got signed off to work in the public lobby to get used to being a law enforcement officer in the public. I got Crime Scene Technician certification to help me work with crime scenes. I have worked in the Special Housing Unit to work with the most deranged inmates to get used to them. All these things hopefully will get me through training at Court security.
At the same time, I am said that I am leaving behind some great guys. I have gotten to know some of the older deputies here and really like to talk to them. I have my group that I work out with in the morning after work. I know that there are people I will get to know over at the court house but I hope that I will not lose touch with the people I know now. As I am saying this I can hear myself saying this over and over again. Ever time that I have moved to a new job or been transferred I always think that I want to stay connected to the people I know. It never really happens. Very few times can I remember times when I kept in touch with people I worked with. I know that most of the time I would see them once maybe have them over then never hear from them again. Sad I guess but a reality of my life.
