I was watching my oldest prince trying to learn how to juggle two oranges this evening before bedtime. He would throw one orange way up into the air then try and transfer the other orange from one hand to other before trying to catch the falling orange. Most of the time my prince would get the orange in hand shuffled without any trouble, but he often would miss the falling orange. Sometimes it would have fallen too far, or it would bounce off his finger tips. The whole time he is intently looking at himself in his closet mirror.
Watching him I was reminded of my conversation with my wife this evening while preparing dinner. We were talking about the conflicting attributes of manhood. I told my wife, "I am a husband, a father, a cop, and a man, and a Christian. I have to juggle all those things at once." Watching my oldest prince, I wonder how many attributes he will have to start "juggling" as he starts his journey toward manhood. I am reading a book titled "Iron John" by Robert Bly. It is a study on manhood through the Grimm's fairy tale of Iron John. I have been really searching my masculinity probing it to better understand myself. I am struck by how conflicted some of the parts of my manhood can be. The father in me wants to teach, to protect my princes and princess' from life's pitfalls. The husband in me wants to serve only my wife, and love her with all my being. The man inside wants to bellow to the heavens and burns with a wild energy. The cop in me wants to serve and protect the public. The "Christian" (this is the American version not what the Bible really teaches) in me wants to hug puppies and judge others for their short comings. I cannot possibly be everyone of those people at once. I don't want to be some of those people any time. On top of all those people, I have this lazy, cowardly, and hateful thing that wants to suck all the life out of my life.
I know that I am moving closer to the point when I can begin to understand when each attribute is needed. Think of it like a set golf clubs you use a particular club for a particular golf shot. My masculine attributes are only to be used in certain situations where they are needed. Sometimes it may be that two or three attributes are needed at the same time, but right now the hardest thing to understand is how each attribute works and what are it's limitations.
What attributes do you juggle with? How do they work? And what are their limitations? Let me know what you think. Well that's about all I have to say about that, God help our nation's men. We need to find our holy masculinity, again.
