I recently had to retire one my most trusted parenting tools (ie threats) that I have to use with my oldest son and oldest daughter. My wife and I made the decision that the two oldest children could no longer be spanked as punishment or discipline. I made the decision because I felt that I was using that discipline to much and too easily. There is also a point at which as a parent you have to grow up and change things up. I cannot keep trying to spank a teenager. It might do some teenagers some good but that it not what I want for my children.
Giving up spanking for me really has been hard because I don't really see the effectiveness of time-outs. I feel like the child just takes the time-out and is laughing at the parents the whole time. I know that there has to be some studies out there that say that physical discipline is not as good as time-outs but that's not how I was raised. I originally thought it should be "spare the rod spoil the child."
But recently, I read the Message translation and it opened my eyes.
24 A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
love your children by disciplining them. (Proverbs 13:24, The Message)
I feel like the passage is not calling me to beat my children into submission. I am called to discipline them with wisdom. That means the discipline that leads to love and correction. It is hard to change how my understanding but I really want my children to love me not fear me.
