I am tired and my mind doesn’t seem to work at normal speed. My kids have become hyperactive during this season, or maybe that’s how I perceive them. I can’t seem to get the kids to do anything I ask of them. It’s hard to describe how uncontrollable life feels during this season. I don’t get much done during this season. I cannot come up with the energy to read, write, or cook. We eat our meals in front of the television instead of the dining room table. My wife seems really disconnected at times. I get angry with her because I feel like she’s dumping the kids on me when I get home. It’s not fair I know to expect her to be on twenty-four, seven. She is just as tired if not more than I am. Life just isn’t fair. I used to think that I needed to bring my life back into order/balance during this season of life.
I don’t think that way anymore. I realize now that trying to bring order to life all the time is not possible. Imagine if you will a beach. I don’t want the tide to come in and ruin my picnic so I begin build walls of sand to try and keep out the tide. The tide begins washing away these sand walls. Instead of seeing how fruitless the effect is, I begin blaming my family for the tide. The more the tide washes away the walls hold my family responsible for the problem. Then when the picnic is ruined it’s not my fault it’s my families.
I know this is how I work internally. I cannot stop myself sometimes even though I know I’m adding to the craziness. My wife asked me the other day if I need to speak to someone about my outbursts. I don’t know. I know that in time the tide will flow the other way. Life will be fun and exciting. But what happens when the tide comes back in? How will I deal with the return of this season of crazy? My wife loves to say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.” The tide is come in now do I find a way to float the picnic or do I let it sink?
My wife is calling me to her side so that’s about all I have to say for now. Please leave me a comment and subscribe. How do you handle the crazy seasons in your life?
