Winding Roads

This is my one hundredth post.  It’s a small accomplishment but I want to savor it since it is a pretty great personal mile stone.  I had a one point thought myself a writer, but then lost track of that dream for a time.  I got back to writing again in this blog as a way to “air out some things that are brewing in my brain.”  Since the time that I wrote my first post life has been a series of winding roads.  I have seen my dreams realized and sometimes discarded.  God provided in amazing ways.  What surprised me over and over again was the way that God gave me the desires of my heart.  Things that I never even prayed for, but every time I got what I desired I wasn’t really satisfied by those things.  

The desires of my heart were never really for the really important things in my life such as my wife and kids.  I love them so much.  They drive me crazy sometimes.  Seasons of my life with them have been tough (like right now).  I have had to eat crow many times, and I will never get used to having to admit that I was wrong.  God knows all these things about me.

If there is one thing that I wish could be said about me from the first post of this blog till now it is, “He followed God’s plan for his life.”  I am often trying to run my life on my own terms.  Men tend to do that. We don’t even have to think about it.  I get so caught up in the day to day running of my life that I often miss the callings of God.  The little voice during times of trouble or times of ease telling me to let God take command.  I can think of a thousand times when I nearly drove myself into a panic trying to run my life.  I tried to solve my own problems and get out of my own troubles.  


Right now, God is got me in season of life to teach me to let him run my life.  I don’t know if I have a choice this time.  God seems very serious about closing off my life from me.  With car wrecks, mental health issues, and other challenges, God is going to get through to me.  I need to learn what HE’s teaching me.  

My wife is calling me to her side so that’s about all I have to say about that.  I hope to have another one hundred posts to celebrate sooner rather than later.  Please comment and then subscribe.

Something Big to Come

This weekend was fun but completely draining.  I was not able to get the energy up to work out a post.  My wife and I are still recovering.  But there seems to be more to this slump than just simply having a long weekend.  I have been feeling not so myself as of late.  I am trying figure out why.  I really don't want to leave this short post, but I need to figure out somethings. Something Big is yet to Come.

King of Crazy

I feel like I’m not the King on Caley sometimes.  I feel like the King of Crazy.  Life in my house moves in seasons similar to the ebb and flow of the tide.  This is not my own concept I got this from our pastor this Sunday.  (Thank you, Hugh.)  I never thought of my life this way before, but I totally understand the concept.  Here’s the season we are in right now.

I am tired and my mind doesn’t seem to work at normal speed.  My kids have become hyperactive during this season, or maybe that’s how I perceive them.  I can’t seem to get the kids to do anything I ask of them.  It’s hard to describe how uncontrollable life feels during this season.  I don’t get much done during this season.  I cannot come up with the energy to read, write, or cook.  We eat our meals in front of the television instead of the dining room table.  My wife seems really disconnected at times.  I get angry with her because I feel like she’s dumping the kids on me when I get home.  It’s not fair I know to expect her to be on twenty-four, seven. She is just as tired if not more than I am.  Life just isn’t fair.  I used to think that I needed to bring my life back into order/balance during this season of life.  

I don’t think that way anymore.  I realize now that trying to bring order to life all the time is not possible.  Imagine if you will a beach.  I don’t want the tide to come in and ruin my picnic so I begin build walls of sand to try and keep out the tide.  The tide begins washing away these sand walls.  Instead of seeing how fruitless the effect is, I begin blaming my family for the tide.  The more the tide washes away the walls hold my family responsible for the problem.  Then when the picnic is ruined it’s not my fault it’s my families.  

I know this is how I work internally.  I cannot stop myself sometimes even though I know I’m adding to the craziness.  My wife asked me the other day if I need to speak to someone about my outbursts.  I don’t know.  I know that in time the tide will flow the other way.  Life will be fun and exciting.  But what happens when the tide comes back in?  How will I deal with the return of this season of crazy?  My wife loves to say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.”  The tide is come in now do I find a way to float the picnic or do I let it sink?


My wife is calling me to her side so that’s about all I have to say for now.  Please leave me a comment and subscribe.  How do you handle the crazy seasons in your life?