Speeding Ticket- Playing the Game of Life

Tonight was family game night at my castle on Caley.  We played the Game of Life.  A classic game that I always remember because I was more interested in the plastic landscape than the game.  As we played the game, I found the random distribution of careers and salaries very ironic.  My oldest son was the lowest paid at $20,000.00.  His career pick was Police Officer.  My youngest son got to be a teacher with a $90,000.00 salary.  I am not sure what school district he worked for but I am assured it was not any public school here in Colorado. 

I don't know why we get dealt the hand we get.  God knows why.  He seems to think that what he deals us will make us stronger or grow us in some way.  I really hope that he's right.  I am thinking about two particular cards that God dealt me, my son's.  I find the mixture of there personalities and physical attributes strange at times.  Take my youngest boy.  He has had a high pain tolerance since birth.  He burnt his hand when he was very young on a night light.  We didn't know he'd done it until the church infant worker pointed out he had a blister on his hand.  The kid had burnt his hand not felt the pain then crawled around on the blister without one tear.  My youngest boy is short, stocky and great at just about any sport he tries.  All these physical attributes add up to a real boys boy.  That's what I thought.  My biggest difficulty with my youngest son is he emotional sensitivity.  He breaks down crying and weeping at the smallest insult.  His sisters seem to get a kick out of reducing him to tears everyday it seems

I have to stop myself from hardening him though.  I could do it.  Too many fathers have been in my place before.  They saw softness in their son's and couldn't reconcile that with the physical prowess they also saw.  So, they hardened the boy through brutalities or insults or the withholding tenderness.  I am not blaming anyone.  I hate weakness in myself.  I'll admit that.  But I get to make that decision.  I get to suffer my choice.  If I impose that viewpoint on my young son will I not be crushing him like flower beneath my boot? 

My second card is oldest son. If you don't follow my blog he is autistic.  That is one of the greatest blows I have ever taken.  I will freely admit that I spent years denying the facts of his autism.  I was not the best dad at those times.  I could even say that I was an emotional abuser.  I couldn't understand why more punishment was not straightening out my son.  Let me try and explain how I felt.

I was talking to a father at my son's school one day a year ago.  We had daughters in the same kindergarten.  We were talking about this and that when the topic of the special ed class came up.  My oldest son had just been admitted into that class that year.  I didn't share that fact with the gentleman I was talking too.  It didn't seem important.  We were talking about volunteering in classrooms.  My companion was telling me how he'd been asked to help out in the special ed room.  He stated he didn't like it much and asked the school not to be assigned it again.  He told me, "I don't know why those kids get such special treatment.  I could have those kids all straightened out in a few minutes if they'd just let me alone with them for a few minutes."

I know that some of you are horrified by that statement, but it's the reality that so many of us have to overcome.  I had to overcome it.  My son is autistic and nothing will change that.  I accept that he will take more time, more energy, and more love than anyone else can give him.  I have all those things.  That's what God thinks.  Some days God is right, and some days I think that God was wrong.  But in the end it's not about the middle of the game that counts it's the end.  Family game night showed me why.

My oldest, the under paid cop, ended up winning the game with the most money.  Not because he made money at his career, but because he collected the most "Life tiles."  A tile is a way of marking personal achievements.  Another way of saying it is he won because the way he lived "Life" not because he worked the hardest.  I want to win the game of life by the way I live it not because I worked the hardest.

My wife is calling me to her side so that's about all I have to say for now.  Please subscribe and comment if you have something to tell me.

Spring Broke

When I see the budding of flowers amongst the dead leaves from last fall I know spring is here.  These between seasons are my favorite seasons.  I love the death of fall and the rebirth of spring.  My best memories come from these seasons.

This is the best I can do at this point with coming up with a blog for this week.  Spring break has broken me.  I am really tired from working nights the last few days.  My kids had spring break before the school district where I work had their spring break.  So the kids got to stay home with my wife and drive her crazy.

I feel like this last two weeks has put a haze on me.  I cannot really think clearly about anything.  I am hoping this will pass.  I am getting frustrated with my blog because I feel like I cannot write anything.  I really want to make each post read well but sometimes I just don't have it in me.  I am hoping this week I can find more motivation.  My wife is calling me to her side so that's all I have to say for now.  Please comment and subscribe.

Bold New Discovery

I am often amazed at how often my past reaches into my present.  When I was a child growing into a teenager.  I remember becoming obsessed with bow hunting one summer.  My dad didn't hunt at all.  Not even one time to the best of my knowledge.  I didn't know anyone who actually bow hunted.  I think that I saw a magazine in the grocery store one day and was hooked.  The obsession lasted about a year before I turned to other things.  I have not really thought about it since then.

So when my oldest son told me that for his "Daddy Date" he wanted to go to an archery range, I was not sure I was entirely comfortable with the idea.  I remember how to shoot a bow.   I learned to shoot at summer camp like so many others.  But the idea of standing into front of experienced archers with my ten year old son looking like a "weekend wannabe" didn't appeal to me.  I didn't have much choice though.  My oldest son doesn't express interest in much more than Legos and computer games. 

Based on the war stories of some other dads with autistic boys, I knew that letting him lose himself in the computer game world would not end nicely.  Imagine the worst junky you ever saw on television then multiple it by how ever old the kid is, not something I wanted to go through. 

My oldest son in the short one in the middle.

So around noon on Saturday, my son and I drove over to the only archery range/store in the neighborhood.  As we walked in I was thankful to see that there were only two other guys shooting at the range.  I could live with that much scrutiny.  I walked up the many counter.  An older woman with the bandaged finger told me immediately that my son would have to take a safety class (which began in an hour) before being allowed on the range. 

I was somewhat relieved to find out that my son would require a safety class.  I wasn't sure if he would like archery at all (he only just learned about it at his own summer camp) so if he made it through the class then he really wanted to be there.  I signed him up for the class.  We had a quick bag meal sitting in the parking lot while we waited.  At the appointed time, we walked back in and same woman with the bandaged finger took my son to fit him with an arm guard and finger tab.  She seemed to take to my son.  He was the youngest in the class.  I always worry that my son's autism will get in the way, but the woman with the bandaged finger patiently listened to him explain his summer camp experience and everything he knew about archery.

The final test- Pop two balloons.

Once the class got going, I started to worry that my son would not be able to pass.  They started out very close to the targets.  My son's arrows would bounce back at him ever so often.  Meaning he was not drawing back correctly.  But when the class moved back on the range everything worked out.  My son hit the target about eighty to ninety percent of the time.  After everything was over my son qualified for ten yards on the range.  He was ecstatic and has been showing off his graduation card to anyone who will listen to him. 

I hope that my son has found an activity that he can really excel at.  My hearts desire is to find particular thing for each one of my children.  That's about all I have to say about that, I hope each one of you have found your favorite activity.  Leave a comment about how your found that one thing that gets you through the day.