I really enjoyed this long weekend. I thought that I would be able to come up with a really enlightening post for this week. I cannot seem to think of anything though. I am really tired. We had some friends over this weekend, and got connected with some really old friends again. It was a great weekend. I just cannot bring any topics to mind about my life or something on my mind that I can blog about. I guess I am having bloggers block.
But that can be helpful once and a while, I don't believe that a person can do the same thing over and over for ever. We all need a break. I will try and come up with some good stuff for next week. I am still reading "Iron John" and coming up with some really interesting ideas. I really like this book. It is the first nonfiction book I have read all the way through since college.
Well that's about all I have to say for now, God please help us to have a good week.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Juggling Masculinity
I was watching my oldest prince trying to learn how to juggle two oranges this evening before bedtime. He would throw one orange way up into the air then try and transfer the other orange from one hand to other before trying to catch the falling orange. Most of the time my prince would get the orange in hand shuffled without any trouble, but he often would miss the falling orange. Sometimes it would have fallen too far, or it would bounce off his finger tips. The whole time he is intently looking at himself in his closet mirror.
Watching him I was reminded of my conversation with my wife this evening while preparing dinner. We were talking about the conflicting attributes of manhood. I told my wife, "I am a husband, a father, a cop, and a man, and a Christian. I have to juggle all those things at once." Watching my oldest prince, I wonder how many attributes he will have to start "juggling" as he starts his journey toward manhood. I am reading a book titled "Iron John" by Robert Bly. It is a study on manhood through the Grimm's fairy tale of Iron John. I have been really searching my masculinity probing it to better understand myself. I am struck by how conflicted some of the parts of my manhood can be. The father in me wants to teach, to protect my princes and princess' from life's pitfalls. The husband in me wants to serve only my wife, and love her with all my being. The man inside wants to bellow to the heavens and burns with a wild energy. The cop in me wants to serve and protect the public. The "Christian" (this is the American version not what the Bible really teaches) in me wants to hug puppies and judge others for their short comings. I cannot possibly be everyone of those people at once. I don't want to be some of those people any time. On top of all those people, I have this lazy, cowardly, and hateful thing that wants to suck all the life out of my life.
I know that I am moving closer to the point when I can begin to understand when each attribute is needed. Think of it like a set golf clubs you use a particular club for a particular golf shot. My masculine attributes are only to be used in certain situations where they are needed. Sometimes it may be that two or three attributes are needed at the same time, but right now the hardest thing to understand is how each attribute works and what are it's limitations.
What attributes do you juggle with? How do they work? And what are their limitations? Let me know what you think. Well that's about all I have to say about that, God help our nation's men. We need to find our holy masculinity, again.
Watching him I was reminded of my conversation with my wife this evening while preparing dinner. We were talking about the conflicting attributes of manhood. I told my wife, "I am a husband, a father, a cop, and a man, and a Christian. I have to juggle all those things at once." Watching my oldest prince, I wonder how many attributes he will have to start "juggling" as he starts his journey toward manhood. I am reading a book titled "Iron John" by Robert Bly. It is a study on manhood through the Grimm's fairy tale of Iron John. I have been really searching my masculinity probing it to better understand myself. I am struck by how conflicted some of the parts of my manhood can be. The father in me wants to teach, to protect my princes and princess' from life's pitfalls. The husband in me wants to serve only my wife, and love her with all my being. The man inside wants to bellow to the heavens and burns with a wild energy. The cop in me wants to serve and protect the public. The "Christian" (this is the American version not what the Bible really teaches) in me wants to hug puppies and judge others for their short comings. I cannot possibly be everyone of those people at once. I don't want to be some of those people any time. On top of all those people, I have this lazy, cowardly, and hateful thing that wants to suck all the life out of my life.
I know that I am moving closer to the point when I can begin to understand when each attribute is needed. Think of it like a set golf clubs you use a particular club for a particular golf shot. My masculine attributes are only to be used in certain situations where they are needed. Sometimes it may be that two or three attributes are needed at the same time, but right now the hardest thing to understand is how each attribute works and what are it's limitations.
What attributes do you juggle with? How do they work? And what are their limitations? Let me know what you think. Well that's about all I have to say about that, God help our nation's men. We need to find our holy masculinity, again.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
New Bar Set High
Happy New Year!! I am ready to meet this new year. I am glad coming out of one of the best holiday seasons of my life. I have been thinking about what is going to define me this year. Last year, I made two commitments. The first was that I would blog on a weekly basis. I have to say that I pretty much succeeded in that goal. If you have been following me you would have seen a new post from me every Sunday. I didn't get every week but eighty to ninety percent is good enough for me. As for my second goal, I determined to live a worry free life. I don't know if I could say that I was successful in this goal, but I feel better about my life now than I did one year ago. It took many battles and a lot of soul searching to get here but I feel less worried than before. I stumble a lot though. I still don't feel good about money, and I don't always parent the best way I can.
That brings me to the new goal that I will be setting for myself. I will continue to blog. I will now add to my weekly schedule taking one of my children out each week. I don't really think that I can take them out to dinner, yet. I plan to take them to library or get kids cones at the ice cream store. I have been really thinking about who I am as a parent and a man. I want to make an impact with my family. I want to be a father to my kids. I wanted to start ministering to others in my life, and I realized that my kids fall into that category. They are more important though since God gave me them as an investment. He wants to see a return for his trust in me. I want to make sure when it's all done I can say that I made the effort to expand his investment even if I failed.
That's about all I have to say for now. God go before us all this year help us grow and heal each other.
That brings me to the new goal that I will be setting for myself. I will continue to blog. I will now add to my weekly schedule taking one of my children out each week. I don't really think that I can take them out to dinner, yet. I plan to take them to library or get kids cones at the ice cream store. I have been really thinking about who I am as a parent and a man. I want to make an impact with my family. I want to be a father to my kids. I wanted to start ministering to others in my life, and I realized that my kids fall into that category. They are more important though since God gave me them as an investment. He wants to see a return for his trust in me. I want to make sure when it's all done I can say that I made the effort to expand his investment even if I failed.
That's about all I have to say for now. God go before us all this year help us grow and heal each other.
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