Loving something too much

It is said over and over again that you must seek the career in the field that you love with all your heart. After having come into my current field in law enforcement, I have to say that statement is true. I love what I do, and I love being at work most of the time. Now I have to tell you that I don't like being at work all the time nor do I like what I do a hundred percent of the year. When I compare it with other jobs that I have had over my life I really enjoy law enforcement.

Here is the crux of this entry. Loving your job too much. Can it lead to wanting it more than your own family. Admit it. Most of the time your job is more clearly defined and has defined goals. Family life is messy and does not always have clearly defined goals. At work you have to do certain things everyday and have yearly even monthly goals that can be measured and rewarded. Family life has certain regular routines but often these can be repeated until you are ready to scream without real reward. As far as goals, I challenge anyone to tell me what's the goal of a family. I am not saying that I would trade in my family or that one family is better than another but what is the plan or the goal. Is it getting all the kids through school? Fiscal solvency? Or what is it?

The point is that work has something we might call stability, and family can be a crazy ride that doesn't really end. What is more important? The rewards at work or the rewards at home. In the end, what everyone (looking for that perfect good that defines your life) must understand that you can fall in love with something too much. A job that is perfect for you can define you, but can drive you away from what really matters and that is your family. Jobs may come and they will go, but it goes without saying that no one wishes they had spent more time at the office at the end of life.

So the world has not come to an end yet

It has been a while since I have written an entry. Life is continuing on a pace. I have been out on the road for almost three months on my own. I just completed a whole week working as a regular district car. I was nervous about working with other deputies that I have not worked with before. If anything freaks me out more that screwing up is screwing up so that it puts my fellow deputy in harms way. I know that some might say that I shouldn't be so paranoid about the danger on the streets of Littleton, CO. I say if we don't stay vigilant we will fall prey to danger.

My son is going in for surgery tomorrow. My parents, my wife, and I all prayed over my son this evening. It feels good to have faith that allows me to bring before God something so simple but so scary. I don't know if I fully appreciate the danger my son faces even in this routine surgery. I think it is a combination of pure ignorance of the danger and reliance on God.

It ain't easy to be in public eye

I have to give an up date on where I am now that Patrol FTI is over. I am assigned to a local highschool down in the south end of the county. I have already had my own sex related case, and I probably could have done a lot better job on it. I interviewed the suspect wrong, probably charged to high, and I didn't book him through when I could have. Not that anyone is busting my chops about this case. I have been more down on myself than anything else. The hardest part of being on patrol for me is being in the public eye. How much easier it seemed when I was in the jail or the courthouse. Admittedly, the courthouse was more public than the jail but it seemed more cozy and familiar. I also have to admit that in the courthouse I had more experience going into the job. I was working the courthouse at least every other month. Patrol I a little expierence with but not as much going into it. Time will give me more confidence though. I know that I have a lot to learn.