Just trying to get something down

I am sitting here listening to Coldplay's Yellow. I am in a mood tonight. We had to finally admit this weekend that we had jumped in over our heads with the dog. He has bitten at least all the children and nearly attack some of the girls friends. I don't know why I thought this would work out. I really wasn't thinking about how big a dog a Saint Bernard was. I also wasn't admitting that I had become the dog's master not my son. The whole point for having this dog was so that my son might have a companion.

Why do good intentions go so wrong? I really started out with the best of intentions. I wanted this only for my son. But within a day or so this dog was not his but it was mine. I was being selfish. I have always wanted a dog. Especially, a dog that was just mine. A childhood fantasy of mine maybe, but it's not right that take away my son's chances just to give myself something. So now it's over. I have a heavy heart. I know that the next time we try this experiment it must only be about my son. I need to let him pick out the dog. He needs to be it's master not me.

It's been a while since I wrote anything

I think that I missed the whole month of March blogging. Life got in the way of having any free time to write. We got a dog for my son which brought a whole new set of issues with it. I love the dog and so does the rest of the family. He is really big and a tad bit unpredictable at this stage. We've had some scares, but we seem to be getting back into the swing of life with a really big dog.

To top that event in my life, my wife was involved in an accident. She was not at fault at all but having never been involved in accidents we were a bit at a loss. Insurance is great until your trying to get your questions answered. My insurance company was great and answered all my questions, but the other guys insurance seemed not be able to return my phone calls.

I guess it is time though to put all these events behind my though. I really have let my writing suffer as a result of my life getting in the way. I feel that I could have done better. Even a sentence would have showed some more commitment to this project than I've shown in the last few weeks. There is no going back though. I plan to continue this goal of trying to blog every week for the entire year. I like the idea because it gets my creativity flowing. I feel more like myself when I do this than any other time during the week. So, God give me a renewed spirit I hope to carry me a little bite further.

The Monster and other things

Things have changed a lot here at the house. We finally got the service/companion dog that we have been waiting on for my oldest son. It is not the same dog that I blogged about months ago, but that is another story for later. My son's dog is named Monster. Which is appropriate since he is a large Saint Bernard. He is great and he seems to be my buddy currently. Monster has attached himself to me which I love since I have always wanted to have my own dog. I know that the dog is for my oldest son and that is fine. My son is not ready to handle the dog yet but it will come with time. If Monster listens to me and my wife we can at least be assured that he will be well behaved and not drive us crazy.

I also listened to a great interview with Reverend Desmond Tutu. I loved listening to him talk about God. The thing that struck me the most was the way describe being silent in front of God. When asked about how he felt about God Reverend Tutu said, "I am learning to shut up more in the presence of God," he says, laughing. One model of prayer, he acknowledges, is that "you have a kind of shopping list that you bring to God" — and even Desmond Tutu confesses that "I still do."

But more and more for him, he says, communion with God is about "trying to grow, in just being there."

"Like when you sit in front of a fire in winter — you are just there in front of the fire," he says. "You don't have to be smart or anything. The fire warms you."
I enjoyed hearing it for this great man. I have never been able to put into words the way I felt about God.