When do win over sin? When do you finally get past the same mistake over and over again. Maybe, you never do get past it. Or maybe you find a way to get around it when it rears its ugly head. I have struggled with the sin of lust for most of my adult life. I love to look at the form of the opposite sex. It is something that I don't like about myself but it is the reality that I live with. I have tried everything to beat the lust that beats in my heart. I have failed almost ever time. The part of me that wins loses more often than not. Why? I know that I should say that I read something in the Bible that gave me hope, or that I found a group that would help me stay true. I even hoped that I could say that when I got married I was able to leave the lust behind and focus on my wife but that didn't happen.
So what do I do? I struggle on like always. I pray for God to help and forgive me when I stumble. I look for another group of men to confide in. But will that be enough? I don't know. I have found some comfort in the fact that I can take control sometimes. I surprised myself with the self control that I found in myself. With time maybe I will come up with more control but only God knows that.
1 comment:
My love, my life, what words can I say that haven't already been said. I love your honesty and your integrity. You are the only man who can make me feel like the woman God created me to be. My prayers are with you as you struggle with this. Keep the faith my love, and know that there is always hope.
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