Emotional Fuel Tank

I am sorry to report that this week has drained my emotional fuel tank.  I have been working really hard, and I really don't have anything left today.  I don't think this next week is going to be any easier.  If you haven't looked at my Ride of The Week section click on the blog title to check it out. 

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Weekly Action Report

I have been trying to com up with a topic for this week, but I couldn't really think of anything that was heart felt.  I am going to use this blog to give everybody an update to some of the things that have been happen to me. 

For the new year, I had committed to spending one evening a week with each one of my children.  It has been a rough start because I had no real plan in mind.  I just wanted to spend time with each one them to get to know them each.  This week I took my oldest daughter to the ice cream shop.  I brought a small notebook with me.  I spent the time eating ice cream asking her some basic questions about her.  I wanted to write them down so that I could hold on to it and compare it with later lists.  I found out interesting aspects about my daughter.  I didn't know that she liked roller skating.  We have been roller skating maybe twice.  She got a pair of really good skates handed down to her from a friend.  Today when we went for a walk she skated around the block with us (as documented in the picture above).  The notes are a really simple idea but they paid off already with the discovery of my oldest daughter love of roller skating.

Our cat decided to go on the walk with us.

 
On another note, My wife has been battling a cold this week so this weekend we spent most of our time relaxing.  My youngest seems to be getting the cold now.  My wife and I were able to get away for a few hours on Saturday night.  I got an invitation to a celebration for participants in a charity event this past Christmas.  The best part was it was basically a free date.  We got one beverage and all the free food we could eat.  I had some great Buffalo Wings and Mozzarella Sticks (real health food).  We then drove up to a city park over looking the south metro area.  I really enjoyed the simplicity of the date.  I wish I'd had  more energy to enjoy my wife more fully. 

Seriously, the cat followed around the block.

On a final note, I am starting to read some more manhood books and parenting books.  I have a goal of putting together a mentoring lesson for my sons for our camping trip this summer.  My hope is that if I can get something put together this year and work with it I will be able to start a multi-family father-son camping trip next year.  I have fond childhood memories of my father-son camping trips.  I wanted to build those memories for my own sons.  I know that there are other men out there who also want to share similar experiences with their sons. 

Looking at the hundreds of parenting and manhood books that are available in my local library, I feel the need to read them all.  I know that I don't have that much time.  If any of you out there who reading this have any suggestion please leave a comment.  I would love to get some input into what other men had read and liked.  That's probably the most important part of the idea.  I love to hear what not to read, but I really want to know what books others have loved or been touched by.  Please let me know either way.  Till next time, I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Broken Trees

I have always been a believer in God speaking through all kinds of events especially when your in need of it.  The problem is being open to God’s voice when he’s speaking to you.  This morning I wasn’t looking for God to speak his words of encouragement to me.  In my last post, I spoke to you about the rage that I have been dealing with.  Part of the has to do with being a parent to a child with a disability.  My oldest son is autistic specifically diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome.  He can be a handful even at the best of times.  When you throw in three other children life becomes overwhelming very quickly.  I am not sure why God gave me this particular mix of kids.  Until this morning, I would have told you that it was my burden to bare.  

What I heard this morning was that I was given my kids so that I can see the greatness of God.  I get to experience it first hand.  And sometimes I am going to say, “I’m out. I’m done.”  Even in those times Gods still teaching me something through me kids especially my oldest son.  He has a love for the smallest and least of the world.  Why is it that those we call “broken” can give to those poorer themselves without a thought?  We who are “whole” have to be dragged kicking and screaming to spare a few cents for someone.  I cannot say that I know the answer.  What I know is that I’m not being “punished” or “burdened” by my son.  God gave him to me as his greatest blessing.  This is my talent.  I could bury it in the sand hoping to just get by without losing him.  Or I could invest in him.  I can see just how far he and I can go before the end.  I once thought that I was destined to be pastor.  I always thought that pastoring is how I would serve God’s kingdom.  I never thought that my service would be to my family.  I am finding that God gave me more than anyone could ever ask for in my family.  Mine is a flock bigger than any mega-church or temple.  I am truly ashamed to think of the ways that I have wasted my gift at times.  

I wasn’t sure how God was going to get me back on track after the rage of these past weeks.  I have fallen down before and crawled back before.  God knew what I needed this morning was to hear that he gave me great blessings and raising them will not be easy.  But in the end I will hopefully get to see them in their transformed bodies whole and glorious.  I know that’s what I heard.  I know that I am not alone either as evidenced by the hug my wife and I received from my relatives.  God was in on that hug, too.    

That’s all I have to say for this week.  Are you living with “broken” blessing?  How’s it going?  Are you ready to give up?  Leave me a comment with your thoughts.